Get skinny or die trying or . . . whatever.

Happy New Year!

 

It's a new year . . . . with new resolutions to break by the end of the month and time to tell the ones who suck to do one. At least that part I have already accomplished.

 

So my resolutions this year are as follows;

• Have better hair. Like Kim Kardashian or Miranda Kerr on a slightly windy day for added volume and effortless waves that look like you've just come out of the sea type hair.
• Eat less and look awesome.
• Find the cheapest laser treatment on Groupon and get all lasered up.
• Get a real job that pays me real life money.
• Travel somewhere new and exciting where the sun always shines, birds sing, sights are ready to be seen, topless men bring me cocktails, Thai men cut their little finger nails, Orangutans are abundant in the wild and free to play with and massages are a free and daily occurrence (Note** Not by the Thai man who's hands wandered a bit too freely last time)

 

And your resolutions this year are?
Let's share. It'll be fun.
For me.
To laugh at your unachievable dreams too.

 

So I would say that mostly people are on some kind of health kick, diet programme etc etc vegetables salad cereal bars humous blah blah etc etc, right?

Let's face it, mostly we are all dreaming of being able to walk down the beach, or pool side area, or slightly air-conned office block to the fax machine because you don't have time to take holiday off, like we are in the Victoria's Secret fashion show or like David Everyone Would Do Him Without Exception Beckham.

My ''health kick'' has started. I'm having a case of the skinnies and I think I'll start off alright because my desire for thighs that don't touch is outweighing my desire to sit in bed and eat a giant aero bar or box of malteasers.
My chosen diet book is on it's way from Amazon as we speak. That's a start right? I'll let you know if I get past page 1.

And I have also started Zumba. I'll be Zumba-ing my ass off twice a week now with all the local middle aged ladies of Finchampstead. You know you'll be sorry you just laughed when I'm all ......

So I totally thought I had rythmn, looked hot on the dance floor, could Crazy in love bootyshake like the best of them before I started Zumba. OOOOh no! My rhythmn is so lost in the world of Zumba. I have also so far avoided any kind of reflection of myself as I strut my funky stuff but I fear that in reality I probably look like these babes. 

I'll keep you updated on the arrival of my can't eat carbs, dairy or anything delicious book.